Why does my job kick SO. MUCH. ASS????

Let's face it. My job is amazing. Here's why:


1. CHAIR. Do I really have to explain that one?

2. I can be barefoot. It's ust like being home.

3. I can update my blog.

4. When I get visits from my lovely girlfriend they last more than 20 seconds.

5. I don't deal with stupid people, just old people.

6. If I don't want to rent a room out to someone, I don't.

7. I can take a nap. which I will do after this update.

8. I can leave whenever I want to have food.

9. I can have a friend come here and just hang out.

10. I can brush my teeth after eating.

11. I can watch TV whenever I want.

12. I listen to whatever music I want.

13. It's just me, no stupid co-workers to put up with and my boss is seldom here.

14. Free Internet access.

15. Did I mention I'm getting paid while doing all this shit? Because I am.



I'm going to take a nap now. And get paid for it.

|ˈvitrēəl; -ˌôl|

Just Thought I Should Let You Guys Know...

Almost exactly 5 minutes into the video, Steve Jobs flips off Bill Gates.



Keep in mind, you heard it first from me.

|ˈvitrēəl; -ˌôl|

SHITPOTLE.

I've had enough of shitty food places that charge too much for mediocre shit to shove in people's mouths. I realized today that I'm seriously sick of Chipotle and its food, and I've decided I'm never going to eat there again. I've been arguing with my friends all day about this, with them trying to prove me wrong about the fact that Chipotle's burritos are huge pieces of shit.

Here are the reasons of why I hate Chipotle so much and will never again pay to eat there.

1. The only thing you see get warmed up are the tortillas: you tell the guy you want a burrito and he slaps a frozen tortilla on an iron, while he asks you if you want black or pinto beans.

2. While we're on the subject of beans, I should say that they have their beans all wrong. Beans should not be just fried and slip 'n' sliding all over the fucking place, they should be refried so they fill in all the places that meat can't. the inside of a burrito should not be a mess, it should be neatly packed and in a state that makes it easy to eat.

3. Their rice is cold and tastes like styrofoam. Yes, I know what styrofoam tastes like, suck my balls.

4. Oh wait! Rice doesn't even really belong in a burrito in the first place!!! "Authentic" Mexican grill? My dick!

5. The meat there is not really grilled for my burrito. It is picked out of a cold metal tub. That's not my definition of burrito meat. Burrito meat should be grilled from raw and chopped up to perfect bits within 5 minutes of me receiving my burrito. It should not be cold, or even warm. The meat in my fucking burrito has to be HOT, right off the grill. There should be no container (besides a spoon or spatula) that my meat should touch before making contact with the tortilla.

6. When i ask for extra meat, they charge me a dollar, and stuff the shit out of the burrito with everything else, too, so they can barely even wrap it properly. If I ask for extra meat, that jut means I want more meat in it than everything else. There should be no extra charge for me to be content with the meat content of my food.

7. They serve the wrong sour cream. The sour cream for a burrito should not be the liquid kind you pour on all the ingredients, save that shit for tacos and enchiladas. Sour cream must be scooped up and smacked onto the insides of my burrito. Yum.

8. Their pico de gallo tastes bland as hell. It's like having water-flavored Jell-O for dessert.

9. There is no horchata to drink. How the fuck do you call yourself a Mexican restaurant when you don't even have ricewater? I have to comform to Fanta, which originated in Mexico, but will never be better than fresh horchata.

10. All their furniture is hard wood and cold-assed sheet metal. It appears to me that everything about that fucking restaurant is cold. They don't even have ceiling tiles put in, so you can see the ventilation system. Stylish, so as to say, "DON'T WORRY, WE KNOW YOUR BURRITO IS COLD, BUT WE'RE COOLING YOU DOWN, TOO." I can't sit comfortably in that hard wood shit. even McDonald's has ultra-padded seats nowadays.

11. They're asking me for too much money to pay for all the shit I have to put up with just to fill my stomach.



Chipotle equals shit. TRY to prove me wrong.

|ˈvitrēəl; -ˌôl|

Vicodin does not do SHIT.

So I guess it's been a while since I introduced myself to all of you.

I guess I should let you know that I haven't updated this because I got my wisdom teeth out on Monday morning, and it sucks. I was prescribed Vicodin to take care of the pain and I realized that that stuff doesn't do shit. I saved the last 5 pills to take all at once, and I still didn't feel any effect on me. Everyone who talks about Vicodin being an amazing drug has gives me false hopes. You're all shitbags. That didn't do anything for me when I took it as prescribed and in excess. It's a placebo made out of starch and medicine flavoring.

I promise a religion post very soon.


Off to check out my stitches.

|ˈvitrēəl; -ˌôl|

I suppose an introduction of me to the blogosphere would be appropriate.

My name is Omar, I live in northern Illinois and I work as a hotel clerk in a small hotel.

So i get paid to sit on my ass for 40 hours a week, it's pretty sweet in the end.

I've decided to start "blogging" because I have so much free time at work to do things on my MacBook Pro that writing would be good, and my spelling, punctuation, and capitalization habits have dropped dramatically thanks to MySpace and AIM.

I'm a really huge asshole, so expect offensive material to be posted here a great majority of the time. This is the reason for the title of this blog.

Off to brush my teeth.

|ˈvitrēəl; -ˌôl|